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I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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