Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
