Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
