ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
