I think im going to throw up on grandma
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
