Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
