So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize