If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
