Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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