Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
