that's an acceptable place to lick
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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