Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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