I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
