I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
