I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
