dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize