I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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