Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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