Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
