One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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