It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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