so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize