I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
