very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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