im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
