I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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