A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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