i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize