tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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