would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
