i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
