just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
