So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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