So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
