I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
