Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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