I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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