You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
