We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
