he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
