Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
