Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
