dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
