do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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