life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
and you fell through a lawn chair
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize