it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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