Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
