i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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