dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
