you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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