i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
