That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My ass is underappreciated
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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