before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
