it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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