so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
