Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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